defecating on your microphone
Oh god that party I was talking about last post? It was amazing. By amazing, I meant I got fairly trashed, smoked gratuitous amounts of other people's coffin nails (including American Spirits, which sort of taste like ass - give me my chemical additives, plzkthx), listened to the world's worst early-90s mix cd ever on repeat, watched someone I didn't know pass out on the carpet, made constant sex jokes, and made a new enemy by insulting some girl loudly from afar (she was swimming, because this was one of those suburb parties with the moneyed folk, and I kept drunkenly yelling "WATERFAG! WATERFAG!" It seemed terribly clever at the time.).

And then came home at 6:30 in the morning. HOLLA. I ate a Slim Jim and two Marlboro Reds for breakfast, then slept for like ten hours. Then made that shit down there under the cut. There is a point to telling you all this, and the point is: today's comic is based on a joke I made that night/morning. That makes Harry my Marty-Stu. CAPSLOX4EVA.